001 Mike Sheldon 03

I am an ex-General Practitioner living in the east end of London. I am now 67yrs old and work mainly in developing a Christian whole-person approach to health care.

This picture indicates one of my weaknesses that I have had to work on. This photograph was taken in 1945 and the only man around was the bank manager who was too unwell to be called up to the forces. My father was absent for most of my early years, and I was "dominated" by a female caucus of relatives and their friends.

As you can see by my face, I wanted to rebel but never had the courage to do so. After many years of informal counselling I now understand and can attempt to compensate for this upbringing, but it is interesting how much one's instincts in later life are formed in the first few years of life. They become part "of you" and are difficult to change - but change they must, it is no good saying that others must accept you as you are. We all need to change.

Project Title

Giving Jenny a "Sabbath"

October 2008 (Project 03)

Background

I have an incredible wife of 42 years (as of a week ago). It has taken us many years to begin to understand one another, but we do now seem to be a bit more open to each other's wishes and desires. Jenny is very busy with three jobs as well as looking after me! She was ordained a priest in the C of E some 5 years ago and is part of the team ministry in our local parish. Although part-time and an NSM (that is not being paid), she works for at least half of the week and also spends time preparing sermons and teaching for various classes in the Church. Some of her excellent sermons are on the Parish web site.
She is also a trained Spiritual Advisor and sees several people on a regular basis, and finally as we currently have 8 grandchildren all living nearby she is a busy grandmother. Recently we were talking and I asked what unfulfilled desires she still had. I was not surprised that she said she was sad that she was unable to fulfilll her creative instincts due to lack of time. I know that she loves embroidery and writing poems as just two examples of her creativity.
I wanted to supprot Jenny in becoming more creative again and the idea came to me to clear the way so that at least once a month Jenny could have a "sabbath". This would be a day entirely to herself when I would be around to do the routine tasks and provide any help she needed. The results have been very interesting.

Description

The first "sabbath" day produced a surprising result for me. Jenny finished three poems which had been in gestation for some time, and one of them was really a love poem appreciating me as her husband. I don't take praise very well, but this poem went straight to the heart and left me deeply moved. She also did some more embroidery and was pleased with the way the day went. (pictures of some of these are also below)
The second "sabbath" involved me in a bit more creative thinking myself. I tried to anticicpate what Jenny would have to do and do it for her. This tidying up the Kitchen was obvious, but I was also able to sort out the potatoes and prepare the mash for tonight's meal without having to be asked. This is always important to Jenny, as like most women they really want uus to be able to read their minds and anticipate their desires!

Results

The main result of the very first creativity day was that Jenny was able to complete three poems which she had started whilst on retreat. I was embarrased but pleased to receive this love poem. Below is some of the embroidery she completed

Embroidery