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Werner May - Fifth Project
For more than 20 years I have been developing a Christian psychology in theory and practice. I have done this as a staff member of the IGNIS-Institute for Christian Psychology in Germany and on the boards of some institutions in other countries. I have to teach, to prepare new topics and to initiate new projects.
In 2001 I entered the area of art in writing poems. I like to form creative teams with other creative persons.For more information see the websites (in German) on the right hand side panel:
Born in 1949 and married with Agnes for more than 35 years, I enjoy meeting my six children and their families. My six daughters live in different cities, two of them in Utrecht / Netherlands, one in Hamburg, one in Berlin, one in Cologne, one in Stuttgart.
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| The Alternative Wish List |
Project 05 |
| Background |
In Germany, we celebrate Christmas on three days. On Christmas eve, December 24, we normally exchange presents that we give each other as an expression of our joy at the birth of Jesus. The custom maintained though its religious background fell into oblivion. On Christmas day, December 25, there is a feast after church and December 26 is mainly spent in visiting relatives.The worldwide known Christmas tree cannot be missing, of course, a little spruce or fir decorated with candles, balls and other symbols.We use to celebrate Christmas with all our children and their partners. One of the highlights is the unwrapping of the presents. You can reckon the size of the mountain below the Christmas tree if everybody gives each person at least one present. From the beginning of December on, the most diverse wish lists and agreements, who gives whom what, are circulating via email.I enjoyed this ritual every year and always considered my own wish list a little piece of art on which I expressed my large number of wishes like a child. |
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Description of the process |
However, last Christmas, 2007, I did without my wish list
for the first time.
The following poem resulted:
Pre-Christmas
I wish for
A wish list
That erases all wishes
Enchanted
By promises
Without divine roots |
And I had good experiences with it: The word-of-mouth recommendation seemed to work just as well. I received many presents that made me happy. Now, at the end of November 2008, I am being moved by the many things I already have. Is more really necessary? Can I be satisfied by what I already have? I thus decided to write an alternative wish list for Christmas 2008. Every year I received books to read, mostly novels or biographies.
This year I will wish that several books of the ones I already have but forgot about or read a long time ago or maybe not at all are chosen as presents. I will wish that the giver then also promises to read the book himself and to meet me later to exchange our thoughts about it.
I want to find more of this kind of alternative present ideas in the next weeks. |
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| Results |
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Here the final version of my wish list I sent to my family:
Dear family,
My wish list Christmas 2008 |
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From each of my kids 2 of their favourite recipes they really like to cook. I could continue my monthly cooking tradition like this. |
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No new books but: give me an already available book from our "Library – Section Fiction“ as a present. The giver promises to also read this book in 2009 and then have a chat with me about it (some of the books I haven’t read yet, others decades ago and I don’t mind reading them for a second time)
But: Each should only give one book and in total not more than seven! |
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(1-many) vouchers, each for “translating 3-5 pages into English” for www.livinglifeasart.com. |
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If one of you has a used PS-stick left over, you can give it to me. But only if you don’t need it anymore. |
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From each of you a small, personal, already packed away memorabilia from your childhood you found in our attic that I can then “exhibit” in the living space to marvel at it and commemorate. |
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Each of you probably has used pens at home. I wish for the most beautiful of them. (Please don’t buy a new one) |
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Yours, Dad
I was really curious what I would get for Christmas and how I would get it. |
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Christmas Eve
Among the large number of presents, most of them actually corresponded to my alternative wish list or they were for me and Agnes together. First of all, I unwrapped the "Collection of favourite recipes“ that turned out to be a beautiful photo book (the cover shows my six daughters) and that came with a basket full of cooking ingredients including wine and a pepper mill. A pot of basil was also there. This present certainly did not go without any financial costs.
In small packages, easy to guess, were 2x a ball pen and 1x a memory stick.
I made sure that they were really used.
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And the books? I was really curious if and which they had chosen.
First, I unwrapped a modern classic I had taken in my hands several times over the past years, thinking about reading it again as I quote from it repeatedly in my seminars but haven’t read it since my schooldays: The drama Andorra by Max Frisch. In my lecture “How we create images of each other”, I always referred to the young Andri who, though not a Jew, is made one by a lie. I read an impressive quotation on the back of the book: "Once I will tell the truth – one says so but the lie is a leech that sucked the truth.“ |
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Up to now, I had failed to read the second book, The Goalie's Anxiety at the Penalty Kick: A Novel by Peter Handke, to the end although Handke’s reputation is unquestioned. The book was made into a movie in 1972 by Wim Wenders
Two great books, I was thrilled, also because they are both rather thin. I will spare time for reading them.
I had to do without the wished memorabilia from the childhood of my kids I had been very curious about. However, a wish list does not request that all wishes become true. My wife Agnes had a similar surprising present for me.
She had wrapped an old Christmas present she had made me approximately 15 years ago from our “attic” (we were not able to determine the exact year). “Treasure chest” was how she had called it back then, a box containing, besides candy, humoresque notes and symbols referring to wishes and behaviour patterns of me.
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We were happy about the glasses frames from back then on a picture, today not anymore very modern, and also about an old letter from Greece from 1979 of a guest worker boy we had been friends with. He had returned with his parents to their home country but announced in the letter that they were going to return to Germany. Today, 30 years later, he is still living in our street, has two grown up daughters and owns the shoe repair store in the supermarket. In football he supports Germany, only when they play against Greece he changes his favourite team.
The treasure chest will continue to give me/us further memories as presents in the next days.
Thanks for everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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