My Guardian Angel

At last I found time to ask my guardian angel a few questions.

So you have been with me all the time since my birth?

Even during the pregnancy.

Aha, angels seem to take things very exactly. Have you really been with me every second of my life?

Well, I am an angel, it’s no problem for me, although we angels are in no way equal to God – he bowed.

Always with me?

Yes, how often do I have to tell you? Even in all those moments which would have left you blush-red with shame without Jesus and where, if you had thought someone might see you, you would probably have behaved quite differently. But you have already asked for forgiveness for much of that.

How did you feel in those moments?

He paused for a second. That’s not that easy to explain to a human, because there were different reactions simultaneously. The first was that I have always felt behind everything your longing for love, for being valued, in the final analysis for God’s love, which at that time you would neither have understood nor been able to express. The cry of your heart for life which I could feel. Even if this striving remained fruitless and sometimes drove you to acts of despair. And then I simultaneously experienced deep revulsion over the damage you thus inflicted on others when others suffered under you, whether through your indifference, your search for meaning or because of your pure egoism. But, and this is probably the most important message, I have always felt joy in seeing you, for only a little fraction of God’s love – he bowed in reverence and was silent for a moment – only a small fraction of God’s love in me was enough to make me happy to be with you.

But, apart from that, did you never have grounds for joy over me?

Yes, more than you think, for, as we said, I have followed you every moment of your life. There were countless advances in your life which filled me with enthusiasm, for you should know that what counts for us is progress and not the direction you’re aiming, which is different from the way you humans view it, for we see the different starting point that each person has. In principle, it is for us throughout your whole life as it is for parents who feel joy watching their child learning to walk, even if it keeps falling down. And, something I have particularly valued about you, you were always on the move, in a mental and in a physical sense.

Every moment of my life, he was there. I looked at him. It moved me. Up till then, I had always imagined something different under the name guardian angel.

What I have explained to you so far is only part of our task, but an important one, for we are not paid body-guards, but messengers of love. But, so that you can understand that properly, I must go into this in more detail, taking David as an example. Let’s leave his adultery out of it for the time being. He was a man of God. Everything he did was successful, the Holy Scriptures say. Despite that, his life was full of struggle, turmoil, intrigues and other difficulties. Man does not live under a pleasure-dome in Xanadu, but in the middle of life. The Lord God, and this exceeds my powers of imagination – he bowed again – saw not only David, but every person in his immediate and distant environs. These were no marionettes for him, with the purpose of providing David with a peaceful life, but each one also had a right to his own personal life, to his seeking, finding and making mistakes. But wherever David was active, had responsibility himself, set off to solve problems, there was blessing on it. I went into this at length to make it clear that our intervention as guardian angels is also always limited by respect for the life of others

Oh, I think I understand that. Is my angel grinning? Why are you laughing?

I can see so many scenes in my mind which you can hardly remember and where you didn’t have the faintest idea about all that was going on, even the apparently harmless things.

For example?

Can you remember, at the beginning of the 1970s, one evening you had the crazy idea of hitch-hiking with a friend the following day to have a five-course meal in Colmar in the French Vosges mountains.

Yes, I can still remember it, how irresponsible it was, for on the morning in question I had to teach sport in a school. I told the director a fabricated story that morning about why I couldn’t come.

And on the way back, do you remember, how you stood for more than an hour without a single car stopping?

Yes, that’s right, at some point, as we were beginning to give up, and of course we didn’t want to spend the night there, a car stopped, the driver wound the window down and asked if we didn’t realise there was a town just round the corner, and that was why no-one would stop, for he had already driven past us a couple of times. It would be better for us to walk to the other end of the little town and there someone would certainly pick us up. And, lo and behold, as we came round the corner, we were at the edge of a town, and everything worked as suggested. Slowly the penny dropped inside me.

Were you the driver?

My angel simply smiled.

Such or similar experiences happened to me frequently. He protected me constantly. Protect?

Did you once save my life?

Once: no, and before I put a number on it, I would rather just say constantly.

Constantly?

Don’t you understand that this world is in constant decay, and order, within you and around you, and all that is associated with it, has to be constantly re-created? The air is full of bacilli, viruses, poisons, and a thousand opportunities for death surround you, stairs too steep, trees you were climbing in where the branches almost broke off and, above all, road traffic. Just remind yourself, for example, how often did you wanted to overtake on the motorway and hadn’t noticed the car beside you in the blind spot? If I estimate it roughly, around 15-20 times. I don’t want to argue with you about the number. But multiply the 15-20 times by the number of drivers. And how many drive while tired, stressed, inexperienced, reckless, under alcohol, distracted by their surroundings, by their mobile phone. I don’t want to know your guess on that. But, between ourselves, a speed limit in Germany would certainly take a load off us angels.

And that time when I fell off my bicycle, aged about 12, were you asleep?

At any rate, the minor concussion did bring you benefits. The immediate consequence was that you really learned to be more careful riding your bike afterwards. And now I will count up the many dangerous moments you mastered later.

And what else?

Don’t you remember any more?

Indeed, I will never forget it. Some of my playmates came individually to visit me where I lay ill at home. It was something new for me to experience this comforting gesture and also the sympathy, for before that we had only met on the street and the tone amongst us was the usual for children of this age, when non-one shows any weaknesses.

Constantly! I don’t know how to describe the feeling that spread through me then. Spreading happiness, a feeling, a feeling of all-round protection. Much more than I had ever suspected, of being in the hand of a loving God. I bowed inwardly.

There is a final thing you should know. In the life of each person there is moment where we angels stay out of it, the moment that every person shares, no matter at what age, the moment of death. There we take a step back, so to speak, step into the shadows. We are right beside this person, but without intervening.

I was still very moved by these dimensions of life. Suddenly a terrifying question came into my mind.

And if you are visible by me like this now, don’t I have a guardian angel at the moment, or is there a replacement?

Don’t worry, he reassured me. We angels are only angels, of course, God himself is always with you.